With Sarah Palin attacking Barack Obama so viciously lately, I find myself a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight:
1. If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”
Growing up in Alaska eating mooseburgers is the quintessential American story.
2. If your name is “Barack,” you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
If you name your kids “Willow,” “Trig,” and “Track,” you’re a maverick.
3. Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable.
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.
4. If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.
If your total resume is: beauty queen runner-up, local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with fewer than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, you are qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.
5. If you serve on the U.S. Senate Foreign Affairs committee you aren’t experienced in foreign policy.
If you can see Russia on a clear day from your tiniest and most remote island (which you haven’t really visited) you are qualified to represent the United States in foreign capitals throughout the world.
6. If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.
7. If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.
8. If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.
If your husband is nicknamed “First Dude,” with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your’s is America’s model family.
OK, now I understand.