The Buck and Mike Blog

For Californians who have been in a coma lately, there will be a new proposition on the November ballot and it’s a biggie. This past spring the California Supreme Court ruled that restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples is unconstitutional. (Full text of the decision.)

Proposition 8 seeks to overturn the court ruling and amend the state constitution. It is a voter initiative designed specifically to take away legal rights that already exist. That’s huge.

Since California is the most populous state in the country, outside parties are bombarding the state with their non-California agendas. Most notably, a religious coalition calling itself Protect Marriage has vowed to get the proposal passed at any cost. The costs are staggering and, I’m sad to report, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) is in the forefront of the effort.

As a gay Mormon, I’m disappointed that the Church has chosen to spend its resources fighting a political issue. (I understand they consider it a moral issue, not a political one, but they also opposed civil rights equality, women’s rights, and placement of MX missiles in Utah as moral issues, yet capital punishment is a political issue, so I’m not buying the cafeteria approach to what is moral and what is political.) On the “urging” of the President of the Church, leaders of California congregations have told their members to donate money and canvas door-to-door for Proposition 8. Leaders are visiting with congregants in their homes to obtain pledges, usually based on what the leaders know about the family’s wealth by their tithing donation history.

Anyone who knows Mormons well knows that a call from the Prophet mobilizes the masses. There is no discussion of the issue, no pro and con, no opposition, and no alternative views are tolerated. There is no reason to study the issue, pray about it, and come to a personal conclusion because the decision is already made. Blind obedience is easy. Study and discussion are difficult, so most people take the easy path.

I continue being a gay Mormon, though I’m sad the Church has chosen this battle to disenfranchise millions of people. It is tearing families apart. Other families (like mine) simply cannot talk about it for fear more damage will be done. Some of the best and brightest Mormons are resigning their memberships. Others have just stopped attending because they can’t take the hateful rhetoric. Everyone knows at least one gay person, so the rhetoric is personal. These people also know that what they are hearing and asked to support is simply false and wrong. So they just leave.

There is also the matter of fear. Several people have told me that they are donating out of fear of religious repercussions but that in the safety of the ballot booth they will vote against Prop. 8. How sad is that? People feel safer in the ballot booth than they do in church.

The discussion is available to anyone who cares enough to listen. I recommend the following web sites, which are rich in resources:

Mormons for Marriage (http://mormonsformarriage.com). Thoughtful reasoning on many points from an LDS perspective, including videos and other resources.

Signing for Something (http://signingforsomething.org/blog). Besides offering good resources and personal stories, this site allows people to send a message that will go to LDS Church headquarters.

Understanding LDS Homosexuality (http://ldshomosexuality.com). Personal stories and videos designed to promote understanding between the LDS Church and its gay members.

Family Fellowship (ldsfamilyfellowship.org). This organization is composed of LDS families dealing with homosexual members.

Affirmation (www.affirmation.org/media/2008_07_27.shtml). Affirmation is the largest organization of gay people with Mormon backgrounds. This particular link is devoted to Affirmation’s views and efforts to address Prop. 8.

LDS Resources for LDS Saints Dealing With Homosexual Attraction (www.ldsresources.info). Excellent resources gathered and written by a group of active LDS therapists, scientists, and academicians.

LDS Reconciliation (www.ldsreconciliation.org).This organization is primarily for gay LDS people and their families to seek spiritual understanding and knowledge. It meets regularly in Utah and has Family Home Evening-style discussions.

LDS Church view: The Divine Institution of Marriage. A thorough justification for the Church’s participation in the California Prop. 8 effort. The Church’s web site, www.lds.org, has other statements about same-sex issues.

Proposition 8, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Mormons, Mormons for Marriage, Signing for Something, Understanding LDS Homosexuality, Family Fellowship, Affirmation, LDS Resources for LDS Saints Dealing With Homosexual Attraction, LDS Reconciliation

Shamefully, the Bureau of the Census has decided to “edit” the marital status of legally married same-sex couples in the 2010 census and list us as “unmarried partners.” It’s a step that denegrates the status of our relationships and our families by falsely denying their existence and is in contradiction to recommendations from Census Bureau staff themselves.

I know that the federal government does not recognize full marriage equality. But the world has changed. Equality in civil marriage is available to the entire U.S. population now because it is available in California to residents and non-residents alike (and soon in Massacusetts, which already extends it to its own residents). Not to mention the thousands of civil marriages performed in Canada, the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, South Africa, and Norway. New York, New Mexico, and Rhode Island now recognize all these marriages.

This is especially disturbing because government agencies as well as the private sector use census figures to determine the types of families that exist, where they live, and what their potential needs are. This should not be a Bush Administration-driven political decision.

I usually am skeptical of online petitions, as mass e-mailings are routinely ignored by members of Congress. However, People for the American Way are providing a petition that they will present directly to the Census Bureau. Their’s is a voice that will be heard.

Please sign the petition. Our families thank you.

Census Bureau, Bureau of the Census, marriage equality, People for the American Way

Note: While I don’t totally agree with the tone of Mark Morford’s following opinion piece, I think his view of the demise of the radical Christian Right is accurate, so I’m sharing it here. –Buck

It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go

By Mark Morford,
SF Gate (San Francisco Chronicle)
Friday, July 11, 2008

Hey, remember the angry evangelicals? The quivering clan of militant Christoholics who propelled Bush into office and seized the national narrative for a few terrifying moments about five years back, ran deep into the woods with it and rubbed it all over their naughty bits in a frenzy of fear and confusion and lust for all things homophobic and saccharine and spiritually denigrating?

Dying. Nearly dead. Gasping their last. Very soon to be a footnote, a caricature, a gag, a punch line, blasted to the dustbin of history like dried housefly limbs after a sneeze. You should know this now.

Yes, you are right; they already were a caricature, a cultural pothole, a nasty rash in the armpit of society. But it wasn’t all that long ago that they were, through a bizarre series of sociopolitical machinations still being parsed by baffled historians, a powerful rash, hugely newsworthy, as dangerous and unstoppable as they were wrongheaded and sad. Remember?

You were not much younger than you are right now. As the Bush era crested, as the neocons’ power reached nuclear levels, when female nipples and f-words and evil gay agendas ruled the news, the evangelical Right–led by the most virulent, spittle-flecked gaggle of mental throwbacks to ever stain the American newswires, Focus on the Family (Dr. James Dobson’s clan) and the American Family Association and its nefarious leader, the Rev. Donald Wildmon–these groups controlled, for a brief, awful moment, the national dialogue. They were the temporary arbiters of taste, the warped conscience of a freaked-out culture. And lo, it was ugly.

Rejoice, won’t you? For their time is over.

Did you know the AFA recently boycotted McDonald’s?
» Read the rest of this entry »

Christian right, Mark Morford, Focus on the Family, American Family Association

Just as we approach the Easter season, I was sickened to read that three Mormon missionaries had been photographed vandalizing a Catholic shrine built specifically to remind pilgrims of the stations of the cross, the path Jesus is said to have walked on his way to his crucifixion. The Shrine of the Stations of the Cross is in the small town of San Luis, Colorado, east of the city where my Mother lives. We can say that three young men clowning around together could cross a line that none of them would have individually (mob rule), that they were young, or any number of excuses, but the fact remains that representatives of a religion with a history of being persecuted should know better and should be ashamed. Apparently, they are. At least one has written an apology, hand delivered to the Shrine’s congregation by the mission president. The missionary was still serving in Colorado and has been sent home in disgrace.

The event happened in 2006 and the two other missionaries have since completed their missionary work and have gone back to their homes (the three were from California, Idaho, and Nevada). Their local LDS Church congregations will convene disciplinary councils to determine what action should be taken against their church memberships. From the sounds of today’s Deseret News article, the LDS Church is urging severe punishment. The Church has turned their names over to the authorities for criminal charges. As ordained representatives of the church at the time, the three could now face excommunication.

As a Mormon missionary in Colombia in 1968 (see photo above) I had a contrasting experience. I wrote to Rev. Pat Valdez of the Shrine of the Stations of the Cross expressing my sorrow for their loss and sharing my own missionary story. (Click here for the text of that letter.) The stupid and immature actions of these three young men do not reflect the attitudes of the vast majority of Mormons. I like to think they would act as my companions and I acted 40 years ago. We worked hard to heal divides. I want to think that all our our efforts were not wasted.

» Read the rest of this entry »

Mormon missionaries, San Luis, Colorado, Shrine of the Stations of the Cross

Mike and I were speakers at the 2007 Affirmation International Conference, held here in Washington, DC, in early October. The conference theme was “A More Perfect Union.” For three days, nearly 200 gay and lesbian Mormons met to learn and gain strength from each other and guest speakers.

Some of those speakers included:

• Bishop V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire
• Carol Lynn Pearson, celebrated LDS author, poet, and playwright
• Jonathan Rauch, author of Gay Marriage: Why it is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America
• Harry Knox, Director of the Human Rights Campaign’s Religion and Faith Program
• Dan Furmansky, Executive Director of Equality Maryland
• Matt Foreman, Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

. . . and many others. We were honored and humbled to be asked to be the concluding speakers at the Sunday Devotional Service. Here is the text of our short speeches: » Read the rest of this entry »

Affirmation, Gene Robinson, Carol Lynn Pearson, Jonathan Rauch, Harry Knox, Human Rights Campaign, Dan Furmansky, Equality Maryland, Matt Foreman, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

This Thursday. October 11, is National Coming Out Day, an annual reminder that gay people help themselves and others when we are completely open about our identity. It is a chance to think about the areas of our lives where we have not been fully honest with others. If our families don’t know, then we are not allowing them to be close to us. If we permit our employers to assume things about us that aren’t true, then we are being dishonest with them. » Read the rest of this entry »

gay

I won’t claim to be an expert on sexuality, but I have met enough people that I no longer narrow things down to such easily-categorized labels as heterosexual (straight), homosexual (gay or lesbian), or bisexual.

I honestly don’t think Sen. Larry Craig (R, ID) is gay, not in the way he or most of us think of the word “gay.” Yes, for years there have been rumors (now given greater weight by his guilty plea in Minneapolis) that he has had sex with men in public restrooms, but no one has come forward to say that their encounters with Craig involved affectionate words, kissing, or any touch other than sexual. For Sen. Craig, like all those married men who cruise bathrooms and rest stops, I prefer the term “MSM” as defined in the excerpt below from UNESCO Guidelines on Language and Content in HIV- and AIDS-Related Materials:

When addressing men having sex with men (MSM)…[the term] MSM is useful as it includes not only men who self-identify as ‘gay’ or ‘homosexual’ and have sex only with other men, but also bisexual men and heterosexual men who may, nonetheless, at times have sex with other men.

‘MSM’ and ‘homosexual’ refer to different social identities. ‘MSM’ refers to the sexual relationships between men. ‘Homosexuality’ refers to more than the sexual relationship and may extend to broader relationships with the same sex, lifestyle, sexuality, etc.

» Read the rest of this entry »

Larry Craig

Today is the second anniversary of the day Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. There are very few cities in this country with such a distinct and rich culture. Yet if such a catastrophe had struck Boston or San Francisco, would half the population still be living in FEMA trailers today? Sadly, poverty and class still figure in the recovery equation.
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Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans

On the blog we often speak out strongly about social issues, but not usually about politics.
I’m making an exception by airing MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann’s latest commentary. I liked it enough that I think it deserves sharing. Watch his take on John Wayne, patriotism, and Independence Day. He has finally had enough of the Bush Administration.

Today is my birthday (no big deal, it’s just a number. Right?) I share my birthday with actors Chris O’Donnell and Sean Hayes and with shortstop Derek Jeter. I hate them for being rich, but congratulations to all of us!

More importantly, I’m proud to promote two events that happen today:

Day of Action to Restore Law and Justice to restore habeas corpus and all of our rights. Sponsored by the ACLU, partners include Amnesty International, the National Religious Coalition Against Torture, League of Women Voters, Episcopal Church, Hip Hop Caucus, Human Rights Watch, and many other fine organizations.

National Day of Silence, a day of protest and action against the new draconian legislation that increases online music royalties to the point of putting most stations out of business.

Oh, and Paris Hilton was freed from jail today.

I wonder which story will get the most press coverage.

Chris O’Donnell, Sean Hayes, Derek Jeter, Day of Action to Restore Law and Justice, ACLU, Amnesty International, National Religious Coalition Against Torture, League of Women Voters, Episcopal Church, Hip Hop Caucus, National Day of Silence