For Californians who have been in a coma lately, there will be a new proposition on the November ballot and it’s a biggie. This past spring the California Supreme Court ruled that restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples is unconstitutional. (Full text of the decision.)
Proposition 8 seeks to overturn the court ruling and amend the state constitution. It is a voter initiative designed specifically to take away legal rights that already exist. That’s huge.
Since California is the most populous state in the country, outside parties are bombarding the state with their non-California agendas. Most notably, a religious coalition calling itself Protect Marriage has vowed to get the proposal passed at any cost. The costs are staggering and, I’m sad to report, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) is in the forefront of the effort.
As a gay Mormon, I’m disappointed that the Church has chosen to spend its resources fighting a political issue. (I understand they consider it a moral issue, not a political one, but they also opposed civil rights equality, women’s rights, and placement of MX missiles in Utah as moral issues, yet capital punishment is a political issue, so I’m not buying the cafeteria approach to what is moral and what is political.) On the “urging” of the President of the Church, leaders of California congregations have told their members to donate money and canvas door-to-door for Proposition 8. Leaders are visiting with congregants in their homes to obtain pledges, usually based on what the leaders know about the family’s wealth by their tithing donation history.
Anyone who knows Mormons well knows that a call from the Prophet mobilizes the masses. There is no discussion of the issue, no pro and con, no opposition, and no alternative views are tolerated. There is no reason to study the issue, pray about it, and come to a personal conclusion because the decision is already made. Blind obedience is easy. Study and discussion are difficult, so most people take the easy path.
I continue being a gay Mormon, though I’m sad the Church has chosen this battle to disenfranchise millions of people. It is tearing families apart. Other families (like mine) simply cannot talk about it for fear more damage will be done. Some of the best and brightest Mormons are resigning their memberships. Others have just stopped attending because they can’t take the hateful rhetoric. Everyone knows at least one gay person, so the rhetoric is personal. These people also know that what they are hearing and asked to support is simply false and wrong. So they just leave.
There is also the matter of fear. Several people have told me that they are donating out of fear of religious repercussions but that in the safety of the ballot booth they will vote against Prop. 8. How sad is that? People feel safer in the ballot booth than they do in church.
The discussion is available to anyone who cares enough to listen. I recommend the following web sites, which are rich in resources:
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Mormons for Marriage (http://mormonsformarriage.com). Thoughtful reasoning on many points from an LDS perspective, including videos and other resources.
Signing for Something (http://signingforsomething.org/blog). Besides offering good resources and personal stories, this site allows people to send a message that will go to LDS Church headquarters.
Understanding LDS Homosexuality (http://ldshomosexuality.com). Personal stories and videos designed to promote understanding between the LDS Church and its gay members.
Family Fellowship (ldsfamilyfellowship.org). This organization is composed of LDS families dealing with homosexual members.
Affirmation (www.affirmation.org/media/2008_07_27.shtml). Affirmation is the largest organization of gay people with Mormon backgrounds. This particular link is devoted to Affirmation’s views and efforts to address Prop. 8.
LDS Resources for LDS Saints Dealing With Homosexual Attraction (www.ldsresources.info). Excellent resources gathered and written by a group of active LDS therapists, scientists, and academicians.
LDS Reconciliation (www.ldsreconciliation.org).This organization is primarily for gay LDS people and their families to seek spiritual understanding and knowledge. It meets regularly in Utah and has Family Home Evening-style discussions.
LDS Church view: The Divine Institution of Marriage. A thorough justification for the Church’s participation in the California Prop. 8 effort. The Church’s web site, www.lds.org, has other statements about same-sex issues.
Shamefully, the Bureau of the Census has decided to “edit” the marital status of legally married same-sex couples in the 2010 census and list us as “unmarried partners.” It’s a step that denegrates the status of our relationships and our families by falsely denying their existence and is in contradiction to recommendations from 
It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go
A couple of weeks ago, Norway became the sixth country to sign on to marriage equality. (See chronology below.) Others will follow shortly, as one of the last barriers to civil rights equality continues to topple worldwide.
Congratulations to all the couples who wait in line starting today to get marriage licenses in California. Waiting today will be easy, because some of you have waited decades for this day. 
In a decision released today the California Supreme Court overturned the state’s ban on gay marriage, concluding that the Domestic Partnership currently offered to same-sex couples in the state is not a legitimate substitute for marriage equality. The court made clear that all couples, regardless of sexual orientation, have the right under the state’s constitution to join in family unions. Having a separate designation for gay people called “domestic partnership” makes gay people, in effect, second-class citizens, a violation of the equal protection clause of the state constitution. 
Mike and I were speakers at the 2007 
This Thursday. October 11, is National Coming Out Day, an annual reminder that gay people help themselves and others when we are completely open about our identity. It is a chance to think about the areas of our lives where we have not been fully honest with others. If our families don’t know, then we are not allowing them to be close to us. If we permit our employers to assume things about us that aren’t true, then we are being dishonest with them. 
