The Buck and Mike Blog

For Californians who have been in a coma lately, there will be a new proposition on the November ballot and it’s a biggie. This past spring the California Supreme Court ruled that restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples is unconstitutional. (Full text of the decision.)

Proposition 8 seeks to overturn the court ruling and amend the state constitution. It is a voter initiative designed specifically to take away legal rights that already exist. That’s huge.

Since California is the most populous state in the country, outside parties are bombarding the state with their non-California agendas. Most notably, a religious coalition calling itself Protect Marriage has vowed to get the proposal passed at any cost. The costs are staggering and, I’m sad to report, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) is in the forefront of the effort.

As a gay Mormon, I’m disappointed that the Church has chosen to spend its resources fighting a political issue. (I understand they consider it a moral issue, not a political one, but they also opposed civil rights equality, women’s rights, and placement of MX missiles in Utah as moral issues, yet capital punishment is a political issue, so I’m not buying the cafeteria approach to what is moral and what is political.) On the “urging” of the President of the Church, leaders of California congregations have told their members to donate money and canvas door-to-door for Proposition 8. Leaders are visiting with congregants in their homes to obtain pledges, usually based on what the leaders know about the family’s wealth by their tithing donation history.

Anyone who knows Mormons well knows that a call from the Prophet mobilizes the masses. There is no discussion of the issue, no pro and con, no opposition, and no alternative views are tolerated. There is no reason to study the issue, pray about it, and come to a personal conclusion because the decision is already made. Blind obedience is easy. Study and discussion are difficult, so most people take the easy path.

I continue being a gay Mormon, though I’m sad the Church has chosen this battle to disenfranchise millions of people. It is tearing families apart. Other families (like mine) simply cannot talk about it for fear more damage will be done. Some of the best and brightest Mormons are resigning their memberships. Others have just stopped attending because they can’t take the hateful rhetoric. Everyone knows at least one gay person, so the rhetoric is personal. These people also know that what they are hearing and asked to support is simply false and wrong. So they just leave.

There is also the matter of fear. Several people have told me that they are donating out of fear of religious repercussions but that in the safety of the ballot booth they will vote against Prop. 8. How sad is that? People feel safer in the ballot booth than they do in church.

The discussion is available to anyone who cares enough to listen. I recommend the following web sites, which are rich in resources:

Mormons for Marriage (http://mormonsformarriage.com). Thoughtful reasoning on many points from an LDS perspective, including videos and other resources.

Signing for Something (http://signingforsomething.org/blog). Besides offering good resources and personal stories, this site allows people to send a message that will go to LDS Church headquarters.

Understanding LDS Homosexuality (http://ldshomosexuality.com). Personal stories and videos designed to promote understanding between the LDS Church and its gay members.

Family Fellowship (ldsfamilyfellowship.org). This organization is composed of LDS families dealing with homosexual members.

Affirmation (www.affirmation.org/media/2008_07_27.shtml). Affirmation is the largest organization of gay people with Mormon backgrounds. This particular link is devoted to Affirmation’s views and efforts to address Prop. 8.

LDS Resources for LDS Saints Dealing With Homosexual Attraction (www.ldsresources.info). Excellent resources gathered and written by a group of active LDS therapists, scientists, and academicians.

LDS Reconciliation (www.ldsreconciliation.org).This organization is primarily for gay LDS people and their families to seek spiritual understanding and knowledge. It meets regularly in Utah and has Family Home Evening-style discussions.

LDS Church view: The Divine Institution of Marriage. A thorough justification for the Church’s participation in the California Prop. 8 effort. The Church’s web site, www.lds.org, has other statements about same-sex issues.

Proposition 8, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Mormons, Mormons for Marriage, Signing for Something, Understanding LDS Homosexuality, Family Fellowship, Affirmation, LDS Resources for LDS Saints Dealing With Homosexual Attraction, LDS Reconciliation

Shamefully, the Bureau of the Census has decided to “edit” the marital status of legally married same-sex couples in the 2010 census and list us as “unmarried partners.” It’s a step that denegrates the status of our relationships and our families by falsely denying their existence and is in contradiction to recommendations from Census Bureau staff themselves.

I know that the federal government does not recognize full marriage equality. But the world has changed. Equality in civil marriage is available to the entire U.S. population now because it is available in California to residents and non-residents alike (and soon in Massacusetts, which already extends it to its own residents). Not to mention the thousands of civil marriages performed in Canada, the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, South Africa, and Norway. New York, New Mexico, and Rhode Island now recognize all these marriages.

This is especially disturbing because government agencies as well as the private sector use census figures to determine the types of families that exist, where they live, and what their potential needs are. This should not be a Bush Administration-driven political decision.

I usually am skeptical of online petitions, as mass e-mailings are routinely ignored by members of Congress. However, People for the American Way are providing a petition that they will present directly to the Census Bureau. Their’s is a voice that will be heard.

Please sign the petition. Our families thank you.

Census Bureau, Bureau of the Census, marriage equality, People for the American Way

A couple of weeks ago, Norway became the sixth country to sign on to marriage equality. (See chronology below.) Others will follow shortly, as one of the last barriers to civil rights equality continues to topple worldwide.
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Norway, marriage equality, civil rights

Congratulations to all the couples who wait in line starting today to get marriage licenses in California. Waiting today will be easy, because some of you have waited decades for this day. You are part of history today. (I’m thinking especially of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, who have waited more than 50 years for this day.)

And congratulations, Californians, for making it possible. California has broken the barriers of discrimination on many other occasions. The state was founded by a diverse mix of peoples seeking a better life. During its rocky history the many different groups of Californians have worked our their issues with each other and blazed the trail for others. As in the past, the rest of the country will follow your lead in the march to equality for all.

In a decision released today the California Supreme Court overturned the state’s ban on gay marriage, concluding that the Domestic Partnership currently offered to same-sex couples in the state is not a legitimate substitute for marriage equality. The court made clear that all couples, regardless of sexual orientation, have the right under the state’s constitution to join in family unions. Having a separate designation for gay people called “domestic partnership” makes gay people, in effect, second-class citizens, a violation of the equal protection clause of the state constitution. » Read the rest of this entry »

California Supreme Court, Domestic Partnership

Mike and I were speakers at the 2007 Affirmation International Conference, held here in Washington, DC, in early October. The conference theme was “A More Perfect Union.” For three days, nearly 200 gay and lesbian Mormons met to learn and gain strength from each other and guest speakers.

Some of those speakers included:

• Bishop V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire
• Carol Lynn Pearson, celebrated LDS author, poet, and playwright
• Jonathan Rauch, author of Gay Marriage: Why it is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America
• Harry Knox, Director of the Human Rights Campaign’s Religion and Faith Program
• Dan Furmansky, Executive Director of Equality Maryland
• Matt Foreman, Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

. . . and many others. We were honored and humbled to be asked to be the concluding speakers at the Sunday Devotional Service. Here is the text of our short speeches: » Read the rest of this entry »

Affirmation, Gene Robinson, Carol Lynn Pearson, Jonathan Rauch, Harry Knox, Human Rights Campaign, Dan Furmansky, Equality Maryland, Matt Foreman, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

This Thursday. October 11, is National Coming Out Day, an annual reminder that gay people help themselves and others when we are completely open about our identity. It is a chance to think about the areas of our lives where we have not been fully honest with others. If our families don’t know, then we are not allowing them to be close to us. If we permit our employers to assume things about us that aren’t true, then we are being dishonest with them. » Read the rest of this entry »

gay

I saw this very moving video of San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders (Republican) in a press conference last Wednesday, Sept. 19. Mayor Sanders had intended to veto a resolution passed by the San Diego City Council in support of marriage equality. After searching his heart, he found that he had to support the resolution. A link to the press conference video on the mayor’s Web site is here, and it’s also available on YouTube. It’s difficult to watch because Mayor Sanders is so overcome with emotion and is often so choked up, with tears in his eyes, that he takes long pauses. I urge you to keep watching, to see the strength of conviction behind those tears, the clear and coherent reason he states for marriage equality. The transcript is below the jump.
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San Diego, Jerry Sanders, marriage equality

“This is it. We’re married. I love you,” Sean Fritz told Tim McQuillan, as the two became Iowa’s first legally married same-sex couple Friday morning. (Read the full CNN story.)

A day earlier Judge Robert Hanson had ruled that Iowa’s Defense of Marriage Act violates the constitutional rights of due process and equal protection of six same-sex couples who had sued for marriage equality. Less than two hours after Sean and Tim’s ceremony, Judge Hanson stayed his ruling until an appeal is resolved.
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Sean Fritz, Tim McQuillan, Judge Robert Hanson, Defense of Marriage Act

A young Wyoming state legislator, Republican and straight, made an impassioned speech against discrimination toward gays and lesbians. Thank you, Rep. Dan Zwonitzer, for doing what is right regardless of the consequences. A little background from the Casper (Wyoming) Star Tribune:

Wyo legislator garners support of national gay advocates

By KATHLEEN MILLER
Associated Press writer Wednesday, March 07, 2007

CHEYENNE — Dan Zwonitzer is both Republican and straight, but the 27-year-old state representative suddenly has found himself praised by gay rights activists nationwide.

Zwonitzer, R-Cheyenne, spoke out in a legislative committee against a measure that would have allowed Wyoming to deny recognition of gay marriages granted by other states or countries.

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Zwonitzer

From today’s Seattle Times:

A group of gay-marriage supporters could begin collecting signatures today for a November ballot initiative that would limit marriage in Washington to couples willing and able to have children.

The measure would also dissolve the union of those who remain childless three years after marrying.

Read the rest of the article here. I also blogged about something similar months ago, here and here.

Excerpt from a memorandum issued yesterday by the International President and Executive Vice President of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism (the umbrella organization for the Conservative Jewish movement in the United States) to the USCJ Board Of Directors, Congregational Presidents, Rabbis, Cantors, and Executive Directors representing 760 affiliated synagogues and over one-and-a-half-million members:

No matter which path a rabbi and congregation may take, which halakha it chooses to follow, all of our rabbis and congregations share a concern for the dignity of all human beings. No matter what a rabbi and congregation chooses to do about hiring gay and lesbian rabbis or commitment ceremonies, all must show respect and sensitivity to all Jews, no matter what their sexual orientation may be. All Jews must be welcome in all our congregations.

Given the Law Committee’s decision today, Rabbi Epstein, who is United Synagogue’s mara d’atra, has told United Synagogue’s leadership that he sees no reason why we should not revise our hiring policies. Based on this conclusion, we may consider applicants for United Synagogue jobs no matter what their sexual orientation. United Synagogue’s leadership will discuss the issue at its next scheduled meeting.

Having been raised in the Conservative Jewish movement, I take great joy in finally having a strong vote of confidence from my people. The Conservative movement has now joined the more than 1,000 congregations of Reconstructionist and Reform Judaism in the U.S., both of which extended most or all of the same rights and recognition more than a decade ago. B’shalom.

USCJ