The Buck and Mike Blog

For Californians who have been in a coma lately, there will be a new proposition on the November ballot and it’s a biggie. This past spring the California Supreme Court ruled that restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples is unconstitutional. (Full text of the decision.)

Proposition 8 seeks to overturn the court ruling and amend the state constitution. It is a voter initiative designed specifically to take away legal rights that already exist. That’s huge.

Since California is the most populous state in the country, outside parties are bombarding the state with their non-California agendas. Most notably, a religious coalition calling itself Protect Marriage has vowed to get the proposal passed at any cost. The costs are staggering and, I’m sad to report, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) is in the forefront of the effort.

As a gay Mormon, I’m disappointed that the Church has chosen to spend its resources fighting a political issue. (I understand they consider it a moral issue, not a political one, but they also opposed civil rights equality, women’s rights, and placement of MX missiles in Utah as moral issues, yet capital punishment is a political issue, so I’m not buying the cafeteria approach to what is moral and what is political.) On the “urging” of the President of the Church, leaders of California congregations have told their members to donate money and canvas door-to-door for Proposition 8. Leaders are visiting with congregants in their homes to obtain pledges, usually based on what the leaders know about the family’s wealth by their tithing donation history.

Anyone who knows Mormons well knows that a call from the Prophet mobilizes the masses. There is no discussion of the issue, no pro and con, no opposition, and no alternative views are tolerated. There is no reason to study the issue, pray about it, and come to a personal conclusion because the decision is already made. Blind obedience is easy. Study and discussion are difficult, so most people take the easy path.

I continue being a gay Mormon, though I’m sad the Church has chosen this battle to disenfranchise millions of people. It is tearing families apart. Other families (like mine) simply cannot talk about it for fear more damage will be done. Some of the best and brightest Mormons are resigning their memberships. Others have just stopped attending because they can’t take the hateful rhetoric. Everyone knows at least one gay person, so the rhetoric is personal. These people also know that what they are hearing and asked to support is simply false and wrong. So they just leave.

There is also the matter of fear. Several people have told me that they are donating out of fear of religious repercussions but that in the safety of the ballot booth they will vote against Prop. 8. How sad is that? People feel safer in the ballot booth than they do in church.

The discussion is available to anyone who cares enough to listen. I recommend the following web sites, which are rich in resources:

Mormons for Marriage (http://mormonsformarriage.com). Thoughtful reasoning on many points from an LDS perspective, including videos and other resources.

Signing for Something (http://signingforsomething.org/blog). Besides offering good resources and personal stories, this site allows people to send a message that will go to LDS Church headquarters.

Understanding LDS Homosexuality (http://ldshomosexuality.com). Personal stories and videos designed to promote understanding between the LDS Church and its gay members.

Family Fellowship (ldsfamilyfellowship.org). This organization is composed of LDS families dealing with homosexual members.

Affirmation (www.affirmation.org/media/2008_07_27.shtml). Affirmation is the largest organization of gay people with Mormon backgrounds. This particular link is devoted to Affirmation’s views and efforts to address Prop. 8.

LDS Resources for LDS Saints Dealing With Homosexual Attraction (www.ldsresources.info). Excellent resources gathered and written by a group of active LDS therapists, scientists, and academicians.

LDS Reconciliation (www.ldsreconciliation.org).This organization is primarily for gay LDS people and their families to seek spiritual understanding and knowledge. It meets regularly in Utah and has Family Home Evening-style discussions.

LDS Church view: The Divine Institution of Marriage. A thorough justification for the Church’s participation in the California Prop. 8 effort. The Church’s web site, www.lds.org, has other statements about same-sex issues.

Proposition 8, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Mormons, Mormons for Marriage, Signing for Something, Understanding LDS Homosexuality, Family Fellowship, Affirmation, LDS Resources for LDS Saints Dealing With Homosexual Attraction, LDS Reconciliation

Alexander Solzhenitsyn—Nobel Prize-winning Russian novelist, historian, and essayist—died today in Moscow at the age of 89. He isn’t my hero because I agree with all he said and wrote about, but because he cared enough about his beliefs he was willing to go the distance. He risked everything for his convictions, pushing against the authoritarianism he felt was abusive and fighting for the freedom to think and write about what he thought was important.

My first introduction to Solzhenitsyn was in 1971 when I saw One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich a fabulous film adapted from his 1962 novel of the same title. I was so intrigued I went back and read the novel. Simple in form, it follows the daily routine of an ordinary guy, a Gulag prisoner during Stalin’s repressive regime. It was revolutionary in that it was the first time a writer had exposed the brutality of those times.
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Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Nobel Prize, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, Gulag

Shamefully, the Bureau of the Census has decided to “edit” the marital status of legally married same-sex couples in the 2010 census and list us as “unmarried partners.” It’s a step that denegrates the status of our relationships and our families by falsely denying their existence and is in contradiction to recommendations from Census Bureau staff themselves.

I know that the federal government does not recognize full marriage equality. But the world has changed. Equality in civil marriage is available to the entire U.S. population now because it is available in California to residents and non-residents alike (and soon in Massacusetts, which already extends it to its own residents). Not to mention the thousands of civil marriages performed in Canada, the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, South Africa, and Norway. New York, New Mexico, and Rhode Island now recognize all these marriages.

This is especially disturbing because government agencies as well as the private sector use census figures to determine the types of families that exist, where they live, and what their potential needs are. This should not be a Bush Administration-driven political decision.

I usually am skeptical of online petitions, as mass e-mailings are routinely ignored by members of Congress. However, People for the American Way are providing a petition that they will present directly to the Census Bureau. Their’s is a voice that will be heard.

Please sign the petition. Our families thank you.

Census Bureau, Bureau of the Census, marriage equality, People for the American Way

Note: While I don’t totally agree with the tone of Mark Morford’s following opinion piece, I think his view of the demise of the radical Christian Right is accurate, so I’m sharing it here. –Buck

It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go

By Mark Morford,
SF Gate (San Francisco Chronicle)
Friday, July 11, 2008

Hey, remember the angry evangelicals? The quivering clan of militant Christoholics who propelled Bush into office and seized the national narrative for a few terrifying moments about five years back, ran deep into the woods with it and rubbed it all over their naughty bits in a frenzy of fear and confusion and lust for all things homophobic and saccharine and spiritually denigrating?

Dying. Nearly dead. Gasping their last. Very soon to be a footnote, a caricature, a gag, a punch line, blasted to the dustbin of history like dried housefly limbs after a sneeze. You should know this now.

Yes, you are right; they already were a caricature, a cultural pothole, a nasty rash in the armpit of society. But it wasn’t all that long ago that they were, through a bizarre series of sociopolitical machinations still being parsed by baffled historians, a powerful rash, hugely newsworthy, as dangerous and unstoppable as they were wrongheaded and sad. Remember?

You were not much younger than you are right now. As the Bush era crested, as the neocons’ power reached nuclear levels, when female nipples and f-words and evil gay agendas ruled the news, the evangelical Right–led by the most virulent, spittle-flecked gaggle of mental throwbacks to ever stain the American newswires, Focus on the Family (Dr. James Dobson’s clan) and the American Family Association and its nefarious leader, the Rev. Donald Wildmon–these groups controlled, for a brief, awful moment, the national dialogue. They were the temporary arbiters of taste, the warped conscience of a freaked-out culture. And lo, it was ugly.

Rejoice, won’t you? For their time is over.

Did you know the AFA recently boycotted McDonald’s?
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Christian right, Mark Morford, Focus on the Family, American Family Association

During this election year we have heard a lot of crap about who is patriotic and who is not. So-and-so candidate is not patriotic because he doesn’t wear a flag pin. Another candidate is unpatriotic because he stood too far away from the American flag to be photographed by everyone at every angle. The very idea of questioning a candidate’s patriotism is insulting. Like they want to take a pay cut and serve their country so they can sell out to Italy because they like pizza? Dumb!
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patriotism

A couple of weeks ago, Norway became the sixth country to sign on to marriage equality. (See chronology below.) Others will follow shortly, as one of the last barriers to civil rights equality continues to topple worldwide.
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Norway, marriage equality, civil rights

It is so easy to get tired in cyberspace. The results of our hard work are not obvious. Perfectionists like me take way too long to write something that can be read in 30 seconds and forgotten by all. We are all busy with our lives and wonder why anyone would be interested in what we have to say.

People do read and some people actually find it interesting. That’s because our personal blog, like those of others, is the place where the events, ideas, people, and stories important to us intersect to create a mix not found anywhere else. » Read the rest of this entry »

Mike and I were speakers at the 2007 Affirmation International Conference, held here in Washington, DC, in early October. The conference theme was “A More Perfect Union.” For three days, nearly 200 gay and lesbian Mormons met to learn and gain strength from each other and guest speakers.

Some of those speakers included:

• Bishop V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire
• Carol Lynn Pearson, celebrated LDS author, poet, and playwright
• Jonathan Rauch, author of Gay Marriage: Why it is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America
• Harry Knox, Director of the Human Rights Campaign’s Religion and Faith Program
• Dan Furmansky, Executive Director of Equality Maryland
• Matt Foreman, Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

. . . and many others. We were honored and humbled to be asked to be the concluding speakers at the Sunday Devotional Service. Here is the text of our short speeches: » Read the rest of this entry »

Affirmation, Gene Robinson, Carol Lynn Pearson, Jonathan Rauch, Harry Knox, Human Rights Campaign, Dan Furmansky, Equality Maryland, Matt Foreman, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

I saw this very moving video of San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders (Republican) in a press conference last Wednesday, Sept. 19. Mayor Sanders had intended to veto a resolution passed by the San Diego City Council in support of marriage equality. After searching his heart, he found that he had to support the resolution. A link to the press conference video on the mayor’s Web site is here, and it’s also available on YouTube. It’s difficult to watch because Mayor Sanders is so overcome with emotion and is often so choked up, with tears in his eyes, that he takes long pauses. I urge you to keep watching, to see the strength of conviction behind those tears, the clear and coherent reason he states for marriage equality. The transcript is below the jump.
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San Diego, Jerry Sanders, marriage equality

“This is it. We’re married. I love you,” Sean Fritz told Tim McQuillan, as the two became Iowa’s first legally married same-sex couple Friday morning. (Read the full CNN story.)

A day earlier Judge Robert Hanson had ruled that Iowa’s Defense of Marriage Act violates the constitutional rights of due process and equal protection of six same-sex couples who had sued for marriage equality. Less than two hours after Sean and Tim’s ceremony, Judge Hanson stayed his ruling until an appeal is resolved.
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Sean Fritz, Tim McQuillan, Judge Robert Hanson, Defense of Marriage Act